Year One

Boy, can I even go back that far. I guess the most vivid memories I have of that time is that of being set adrift in a leaky canoe, alone! I was not alone however, I had a great supportive group of other teachers and an understanding, caring principal. But when the doors closed and the kids sat down, I stood ALONE.

I will never forget that very first morning when I walked into my newly decorated room, complete with crisp new bulletin boards, (all interactive, of course), the freshly painted, custom made podium and accompanying specially designed storage boxes that my father had so proudly and lovingly made for me. One of my female students walked up to me and greeted me with the words, "I can do anything I want and YOU can't touch me". For feeling SO ready moments before I now felt SO unready. That was the kind of thing they neglected to alert me about in my classes. OOPS! Where were those professors now.

The sense of lonelyness was fleeting at first blush, but then as time went on I began to feel that I was the only teacher who had felt this way. I think it would greatly help beginning teachers to have time in their first year to get together with other same grade level teachers so that they can compare notes and come to realize that they are indeed NOT alone and adrift.

I was lucky I knew my professors well and could call and chat with them, further I was blessed to have colleagues who understood and helped me bridge the gap and through me life vests as I need them. They were there to wipe the tears, hold my hand and raise my spirits.

I wonder what the students if asked would say about their 'new' teacher. Would they have realized how much I cared, what a good job I wanted to do, or how afraid I was I would not be "good enough". I only hope that the memories that come to their minds is that their "new' teacher really did care and they had a safe, understanding place to continue their academic experience. I will have to ask some that I am in touch with on Facebook. What do they remember?